A very personal poem that I wrote when I was very pissed off, as you can tell right away. This one is a little graphic, just to warn you.

Rating: Dark but pretty good


I am the beast
I am the lust
I am the degenerate
I am the cursed
I’m the thing I tell
people not to be
No hope, no love,
No change, no mercy
I am alone
I am torn
I am the crimson
disease reborn
I am the rage
I am the hate
I am that link to
the need to masterbate
I am self-seeking
I am insecurity
I am isolation
drunken solemnity
I cannot reach
I cannot grasp
I am faded
I won’t last
It’s too late for me
It will never be
Love is a gift for those
who don’t see what I see
Sex sells, temptation kills
So it holds true
My mind has been tainted
I wish I could save you
I can’t because I’m weak
I can’t love anymore
My innocence cries out
I weep for lost time
I cannot win back
Too much knowledge
It’s goodness I lack
I will always be along
wrapped cold inside
My body goes on
but the true me has died
Is anybody out there?
Can anyone be?
Is anybody wasting
a thought on me
Can I possibly be
on anybody’s mind?
There’s about 10,000
running around in mine
Is this what you wanted
you fucking TV
you’ve taken my confidence
my strength and security
All I see now is sex
because that’s what you told me to see
is this what you fucking wanted from me?
I lie here naked
cold and afraid
I closed my eyes
but the images stayed
Reflected through naked bodies
on a computer screen
shines the image of my face
Just barely seen
I stare into my own
lust filled eyes
the hatred that burns
spells out my demise
I feel release, I break the tension
the true me is back again
my thoughts are in my head again
rather than my sin
Although I hated myself all along
now it reaches that point
Where I see my sin spread across the room
and the term hypocrite is coined
Here’s where self-confidence
comes into play
because now my depression
twists it another way
Now I think that
I’ll never be cared for
I’m just too ugly
to be wanted anymore
Attractiveness, no one could
find in me
the beauty is too hidden
for anyone to see
I’m so lonely
I’m so in need
A hand of blessed love
my hungry mouth to feed
But nothing is there
no one I can see
there is just no one out there
searching for me
So first lust, then acceptance
then self-hate
then lonliness and desparation
unable to separate
These are all linked and show
the beast I’ve come to be
Wasting all my time and life
and my energy
This is it, there is nothing left
No one sees me cry
So I call in desparation
When will this lust inside me die?
When will this lust inside me die?© 2002 Morgan Foster

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