Personal Savior

This is another poem about aforementioned girl that made a big impact on my life. The title’s kind of creepy now that I look at it.

Rating: Okay

Personal Savior

Don’t become like them
Don’t become like them
The world tells me to take advantage, to become exactly what I am not
I’m better then that
But why do I find myself wanting what they have?
I’m not lonely, am I?
I have no reason to be
I guess I need a savior as much as I want to be one
Why do I find excuses to give way to my frustration or my lust?
Why do I think it’s right because the world tells me it is?
So I go on, fucking up and knowing it
Yet I just assume that something is wrong with me
And that’s why I feel out of place, as if doing what I know is wrong
Is just a way of life and I need to get used to it
Oh God, save me from myself
Okay, jump back from that and now I just feel insignificant
And I hate myself for thinking so
I long for someone to just see me for who I am

Every single one of those feelings disappear when I see her smile
Even for just a brief moment
I’m overcome with something I can’t explain
She’s so beautiful, not just physically
Too beautiful and far too wonderful for me
More then I could ever deserve
What could I ever do for her?
Yet my undying doubt is broken
And my stubborn attitude is forced to change
And my pessimism is destroyed by her undoubting love for someone
And that someone is me
I can’t help but smile when I think
Maybe I’ve changed her life, just by being myself
And then she
The one who almost encapsulates the meaning of beauty
Tells me that I’m beautiful
She has seen the real me
In that one smile, I realize
That I don’t need to be saved from myself, but from the stereotypes
That want me to be something else
When my eyes meet hers I know
That my life is significant simply because I’ve touched hers
This life is a constant battle
But looking in her eyes reminds me that God is on my side.

© 2002 Morgan Foster

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