Well, I mentioned several weeks ago that I kind of have a crush on a new coffeeshop girl. Almost everyday, I go in, order a latte, which she makes, we do the typical small talk, we both smile quite a bit, do the usual flirty things (at least I think it’s flirty), and then I leave. Our total interaction has maybe totaled three hours so far. My boss thought she got fired last week, but my heart was lifted the next day to learn that it was not true, and people make jokes and I dramatize my love for this girl that serves coffee. If she ever learns this, it will either be very cute and endearing, or extremely creepy.
Now there’s a few reasons I bring this up. First off, I am very good at these kinds of relationships, because I’m friendly enough to talk to someone, even flirt with them, but never have the guts to go any further then that. I would much rather just leave these little fleeting relationships completely undefined than to ever make a move. So I end up waiting way too long, and by the time I do muster up the strength to even vaguely hint at the desire of something more, she’s either married with a couple kids, or the slight interest she had in me has been dead for a decade.
But the problem I have is this. If I try to actually ask out said coffeeshop girl, what we have now will never exist again. We cannot ever have this casual cute flirty relationship ever again. Since I’m a complete pessimist about relationships, I also can never imagine her having any attraction toward me, so I just assume that things will end right there, and we’ll stand the awkwardness for about a week, before I just start going to another coffeshop everyday.
So I guess the point I’m bringing up, and I guess this kind of goes along with my most recent post, is what do these relationships mean? In our lives, we form so many short relationships that never get defined, that never reach a very deep level, but I can’t imagine life without them. What fun would it be to go into a coffeeshop without the same cute girl making the latte everyday that I’m now on a first name basis with? I guess these kinds of relationships are the things that make the human experience unique, and I wouldn’t want to go on without them, but I always wonder if whatever current one should be a deeper relationship or not, and how on earth I’m supposed to find that out.