Have you ever been walking your dog and thought “Well if he can, why can’t I?� Me neither, I was just asking.

Have you ever spilled cologne on your tooth brush, forgot about it, then thought your taste buds must be really screwed up? Me neither, I was just asking.

Have you ever been cleaning out the litter box and got curious? Me neither, I was just asking.

Have you ever taken your glasses off to take a shower, then when you get out and put your shirt on, you spot a water spot on your shirt, but with your glasses off it looks like your nipple, then you get really scared because you think maybe you came down with that mysterious “moving …

Do you ever obsessively smell the band of your watch when you take it off? Me neither, I was just asking.

Have you ever, in desparation, used something out of your wallet to wipe your ass? Me neither, I was just asking.

Do you ever wonder about the origin of the word “prom� and the best you can conclude is that it has something to do with a low carb corn salsa dip? Me neither, I was just asking.