You can see them sitting in front
They never miss a chance to say what they think about what I say
They’re at every show
Never missing a chance to point out that I don’t mean to say what I say

She laughs when he falls
Into a boat or out of a church
Or pouring iodine all over his shirt
Or like the time he threw the Christmas card in the fire
Or dropped my sister on her head, which explains a lot
Watching hockey, no less, if I heard it right

Join my mother father fan club
I’ve been a member since 80

Mother knows best, no matter what
In an argument, she’ll never quite
But if it’s during West Wing you may as well forget
You can trust information that she shares
Except directions to anywhere
Or any scores of Cubs, Hawks, and Bears

It’s my Mother Father Fan Club
I’ve been a member since 80
Come join my Mother Father Fan Club
You’ll find the in the front row laughing at me

So just how lucky can I be
I got these crazy people to call my Ps
I wouldn’t trade it for nothing, except maybe cheese
I’m just kidding, I love them so much
I could write more about it, but it’d probably suck
Now here’s a random bridge to make the song seem longer

La la la la la, la la la la la
Now here’s my brother in law
Everybody!

Join my Mother Father Fan Club
I’ve been a member since 80
It’s my Mother Father Fan Club
She made me write this song in 2003