“Conservatives are always fighting so hard for protecting the unborn. But once you’re out, you’re on your own.” – George Carlin

I’ve been absolutely addicted to the olympics in the past couple weeks, and here’s a few observations. – Could the women in the beach volleyball wear anything less? The men in beach volleyball wear baggy shorts and t-shirts, yet the women wear tight bikinis (the Germans being in bright pink ones, which absolutely perplexes me). …

Another bumper sticker observation. I saw another one with an american flag on it, only this one said “The Power of Pride.” I don’t know about you, but that kind of scares me. Proud men fall and fall hard. I know from experience.

There’s a George W. Bush commercial out right now where he says “I can’t imagine the pain of someone having to decide which child to pick up on September 11th.” I can’t for the life of me figure out what that’s supposed to mean. Are two kids dying and you can only pick up one? …

I overheard a conversation between two older men in which one said to the other “Is anyone else living in the same world I am?” He was wearing a “Yo Quiero Taco Bell” shirt with an advertisement for Tomb Raider 2. The people you can see in a bookstore, I tell ya.

Inadequacy has got to be one of the biggest emotions that all human beings have at some point. It’s amazing we (humans as a corporation) ever get anything accomplished with the constant dread of never being good enough. It’s like what I’ve said about loneliness. Everyone is lonely and miserable, and surrounded by lonely and …

Why is it stupid people always think they’re right, and weird people always want to talk?

I went golfing a couple days ago, and an unprecedented thing happened to me. You may think hole in one, eagle, or, heaven forbid, broke a club over my knee through a cloud of obscenities. But no, I was hit by a ball. Out of nowhere, a ball flies over the trees like some kind …

I’m always mystified by excess punctuation.:”-+=\,/? I have a friend who sent out an email one time where every single sentence ended with an exclamation point. It wasn’t a joke either. If she was meaning to convey her excitement, I’d have to give her five stars!!!! There’s a retail store near my apartment called “Draperies, …