One time I thought an empty billboard was selling the color white. So I called the number at the bottom of the billboard and asked, “Is this the white store?� and the guy said, “Excuse me, that’s Caucasian store.� I didn’t even know that was a color.
Deep Thoughts – Interrogation
When you’re being interrogated by the cops, do you ever wonder if there’s another cop behind the two-way mirror making faces at you because you can’t see him. Someday I’ll find you officer goofy-face.
Deep Thoughts – Ugly
Geez, somebody got their face sucked off by the ugly fish.
Deep Thoughts – Fluffy Chair
The big red fluffy chair looked much like a big red fluffy chair. From hell!!
NFL First Guessing – Week 5
(singing boisterously) Bear down, Chicago Bears! And let them know that you’re wearing the crown! You’re the pride and joy of Illinois Chicago Bears, bear down!! I practiced singing that fight song all night, as I witnessed the glory of the Chicago Bears becoming the best team in the NFL on Sunday night. They are …
Deep Thoughts – Water
Why is it that when you use the bathroom, the toilet’s already full of water. Seems like a big waste. I’ll bet that water could be better used somewhere else. Like water factories.
Deep Thoughts – Lemons
You know what they say “If life hands you lemons, tell life to go fuck itself.”
Baseball and NHL
First off. For those of you who don’t care about my sports posts, I’m sorry I haven’t been posting much else recently. Things had been pretty crazy busy, but I have a bunch of non-sports posts that I want to do (I even have them in my palm pilot. I am a J). So please …
NFL First Guessing – Week 4
Well, we’re four weeks in and as usual there are some things we expected and some things we didn’t. And by we I mean me.  Expected Things: – Cincinnati is good – Payton Manning and the Colts start off hot – Oakland/Detroit/Green Bay all suck Unexpected Things: – New Orleans starts off 3-0 – Tampa …
NFL First Guessing – Week 3
Well I don’t have a lot of time this week as I’ve been out of town and at a conference for work. So I’m just going to put up my picks. Oh and by the way, the Bears rock, and I’m excited for tomorrow. Should be a good litmus test game. Tennessee @ Miami Miami’s …