It’s always around this time of year that I wonder what the members of the bands “Cannibal Corpse,” “Slayer,” or “Iron Maiden” do for Christmas. Do you think they open their presents on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day? Who plays Santa? Do their mothers always insist on having cranberry sauce at dinner even though no …

The flourescent lights of the electronics store burn With the refrain “Silver Bells” playing It is christmas time in the city Old man winter has returned with a vengence The river nostalgia gushes through my vains Memories that have no connection Yet seeming importance Every year I pretend it will make sense Yet it passes …

It’s a depressing thing when you realize that if you were just slightly balder, you would be Art Garfunkel.

With the help of a co-worker, here’s a couple bumper sticker ideas: My other car is a genius car. I’m with stupid car.

“Conservatives are always fighting so hard for protecting the unborn. But once you’re out, you’re on your own.” – George Carlin

I’ve been absolutely addicted to the olympics in the past couple weeks, and here’s a few observations. – Could the women in the beach volleyball wear anything less? The men in beach volleyball wear baggy shorts and t-shirts, yet the women wear tight bikinis (the Germans being in bright pink ones, which absolutely perplexes me). …

Another bumper sticker observation. I saw another one with an american flag on it, only this one said “The Power of Pride.” I don’t know about you, but that kind of scares me. Proud men fall and fall hard. I know from experience.

There’s a George W. Bush commercial out right now where he says “I can’t imagine the pain of someone having to decide which child to pick up on September 11th.” I can’t for the life of me figure out what that’s supposed to mean. Are two kids dying and you can only pick up one? …

I overheard a conversation between two older men in which one said to the other “Is anyone else living in the same world I am?” He was wearing a “Yo Quiero Taco Bell” shirt with an advertisement for Tomb Raider 2. The people you can see in a bookstore, I tell ya.

Inadequacy has got to be one of the biggest emotions that all human beings have at some point. It’s amazing we (humans as a corporation) ever get anything accomplished with the constant dread of never being good enough. It’s like what I’ve said about loneliness. Everyone is lonely and miserable, and surrounded by lonely and …